Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
