We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
