i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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