When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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