we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm passing your future prison.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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