there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize