can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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