I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
