You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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