i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
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New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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