i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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