I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
