what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
