Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize