i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
