the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
