I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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