oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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