Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
