mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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