My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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