How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Randomize
