so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
