new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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