her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
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I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
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she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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