Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So many bounce houses so little time
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
