we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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