I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
