i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize