yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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