I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
