I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
