That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
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i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
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it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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