you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
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well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
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Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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