Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
