woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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