You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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