The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
