were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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