Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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