Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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