I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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