im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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