Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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