the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
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There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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