YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
