youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
