Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I see more hoeing in ur future
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
