so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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