hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
