i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
