Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
