gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
