WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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