Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
