party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
