ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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