buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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