So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
