I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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