I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
