I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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