I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
