Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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