Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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