I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
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